A blank page. A world of possibilities. I have always loved how the first page of a new notebook makes me feel, all the potential it holds.
However, what usually happens is, I put so much importance on it that I skip over it. I flip a few pages in to start whatever notes, to-do list or miscellaneous thing I need to jot down. I assure myself I will come back to that first page when I have more time, clarity and purpose. Most of the time it never happens. I have notebooks upon notebooks of random different topics, ranging in importance, with no organization at all. To the annoyance of my husband, even more than notebooks, I have lots of scraps of paper. I find the nearest thing to write on, again thinking that I will come back to it, sort it and write it more neatly in proper notebooks. It is a running joke that I will have written the most important thing on the edge of the back of an envelope, never to be found again.
All the while I hold to the idea that when inspiration strikes, grab whatever is near, and write! Why waste time looking for something? But now I am turning over a new page in my life. That new page will be the front page. The very first, clean, special page. No longer will I wait for something better to write, something more important, because now is important. Whatever I am thinking and doing right now, is important! Even if only for that moment, it holds significance in my life. If not, I shouldn’t be writing it.
I realize it comes from a place of perfectionism, one that has been an underlying current in my life that I have only recently become aware of. I believe lots of people hold themselves back subconsciously waiting for that far off thing, that thing that you just know holds more value than where you are right now.